


a dream i wish to dream

by miyanagi



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Confessions, Cuddling, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff without Plot, M/M, and i'm too lazy to capitalize in edit rip, i wrote this during the thirteenth hour of the night it's a mess, it was a last minute decision but i honestly find that i write quicker in lowercase, this is just gay literally nothing happens i'm so sorry, this is written in lowercase
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:14:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23108326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miyanagi/pseuds/miyanagi
Summary: Saihara Shuichi believes there has to be a reason for everything.Ouma Kokichi might just change his mind.˚ 　　 　 .　　 . ⊹. ✧ . * . ˚⊹ · 　　 * .* . 　 ✦ . ˚˚ 　　　　 * ·⋆ .　　　 *˚ * 　　· .Written for the SaiOu Winter Exchange!
Relationships: Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 3
Kudos: 126
Collections: SaiOu Winter Exchange 2019





	a dream i wish to dream

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sinfulwonder](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfulwonder/gifts).



> This was written for the SaiOu Winter Exchange, and my recipient was the lovely Sinfulwonder (whose writing I adore very much, just so you know)! Out of all the prompts you gave, I tried to write something based on "cuddling around the fire fluff." I'm not sure it's winter themed, exactly, though there are allusions to it being cold so take that as you will. I did go a little... off the prompt? This is the product of a bunch of sleepless nights, and I didn't want to postpone this any further so here you go! I hope you like it anyhow!
> 
> I have no idea if they'll read this, but I just wanna add in a lil' thank you to one of my good friends, as well as an RP partner of mine for being so nice and supportive as I'm literally screaming my head off about this thing o///o my writing does not deserve all of that

the first thing you should know is that: saihara shuichi does _not_ know how it happened.

but then he feels like saying that makes people think that he _does_ know how it happened, so perhaps that wasn't the best way to start this...

the night has a way of making people crazy. saihara heard once (from an unconfirmed source) that most people tend to get sentimental during a full moon... is that where the story of werewolves shifting under full moons comes from?

but then saying _that_ would imply that the only reason he ever did something like this was thanks to some natural phenomena who probably couldn't care less to spare him any more than a passing glance. it makes him sound like he's attempting to deny all responsibility for his actions with the pitiful excuse of _the moon made me do it_.

no. the moon did not make him do it. at best, it influenced him, but saihara shuichi had done what he did all by himself. he was willing to admit that much.

still... it doesn't completely explain to him, his poor, confused, riddled mind running out of adjectives to use, how he went from sitting on opposite ends of a log to cuddling with ouma kokichi beneath the moonlight on the unspeakable thirteenth hour of the night.

is... is he dreaming? is that it? he looks down at his arms, where he cradles a weight pressed against his chest. it almost feels like holding porcelain — so gently, so lovingly, so fearfully, all because of its beauty. or maybe it feels like holding porcelain because that's what ouma's skin reminds him of. their limbs are entangled, no sign of where his own arms begin or where ouma's legs end. distantly he spies a crackling fire in front of them that seems to rise when saihara sets his gaze upon it. tents are scattered in another circle around the circle of logs around the circle of fire. lights pulse from within a few of them, like imitations of fireflies. they are the only ones left outside, out in... the forest, and above them a thousand stars seem to spin and shine, making him dizzy.

saihara starts to panic. he still has no idea how any of this happened, there is no explanation, for the boy in his arms, the weakness of his limbs, the racing of his very—

"huh...? you're still awake, saihara-chan?" it takes almost all of the detective's willpower not to leap. perhaps it is the reminder that ouma is like porcelain, and the fear of breaking such a pretty thing, that keeps him grounded. he almost slips off the log though. he looks down from the starry sky, and sees another starry sky; this time he finds it in shades of purple swimming in ouma's eyes—

_wait, what?_

"i could... say the same for you, ouma-kun..." the detective bites his lip, unsure what to say. "um... how could you tell?"

"well... i _was_ trying to get some sleep," ouma looks away, gazing into the fire. "but someone's heartbeat woke me up!" he turns back and prods a gentle finger past the scarf that hangs on saihara's neck to poke at his chest. the detective almost feels the touch reach his entire heart, like ouma had just claimed it in a singular finger. not even a palm. 

"i-i'm sorry," it's the least he could murmur, but then again, he feels incapable of saying anything else.

"whatever, it's fine!" ouma detaches himself from saihara's body to stretch his arms out wide. a frigid winter air, one that saihara doesn't seem to have noticed, sweeps in to fill the now empty space in saihara's arms. he finds it is not nearly satisfying enough. he hugs himself to trap the remaining warmth in, perhaps the phantom of ouma's presence, but even that has faded too. a shadow of disappointment crosses over his face. "i was getting pretty uncomfy stuck in that position for so long! ...just kidding, you're actually really comfy, saihara-chan! way better than these tough logs. maybe cuddling is just about the best idea your brain has ever thought up!"

"ouma-kun? about that..." 

the leader turns to face him, an inexplicable expression on his face that catches saihara off guard. still, ouma does not speak. a silence falls about them for a moment that neither of them are willing to break. but saihara does anyway.

"how did we end up here?" his voice is quiet, as if wanting to pretend the silence was still there.

ouma snorts. he hugs his knees to his chest and peers into the fire, raising an eyebrow. "we're on a camping trip with the rest of the class," he gestures to all around them, pointing out the trees that surround them and form darkness in every direction. "duh."

"i know that much!"

"well then, you need to get more specific with your questions, saihara-chan. how am i supposed to know exactly what you're asking? you might be asking how we ended up in this specific part of the woods, or maybe how you ended up with this class specifically, maybe even how you ended up in this life! which, i'd be very happy to explain—"

"you know what i'm talking about!" saihara furrows his eyebrows, getting increasingly embarrassed. "how did the two of us end up _here_? like this?" the detective gestures vaguely to the space between them. space... that feels like it shouldn't exist, all of a sudden.

but ouma only tilts his head, too innocently to actually be innocent. "and what exactly... is this?" he mimics the detective's gestures, and saihara all but burrows his face into his hands.

"cuddling. how did we end up cuddling?" 

ouma shifts and pries the detective's fingers from his face with little to no protest. when his vision clears, saihara sees the leader staring at him amusingly, unfocused, not observing him, just... taking him in. there's a small smile on his face that he hides in the shadows.

"you seriously don't remember? what, you fell asleep and got amnesia or something?" he tilts his head, but doesn't wait for saihara to reply before continuing. 

"we were all having dinner, then everyone started complaining about feeling cold, but we all know it's because everyone here is a coward and can't handle a good ghost story. that's why most of us went inside. some of us went for a run to generate heat or something. and you... well, you wanted to cuddle, and me, being the ever-generous supreme leader i am, decided to heed to the wishes of one of my most loyal subjects! i wanted to leave after a while, but then you went and fell asleep on me, so i decided i might as well take a nap too."

ouma took a deep breath as he finished, then spread out his hands. "there, ya happy?"

saihara sits there, contemplating the leader's words. he holds out his own hands closer to the fire, and the heat waves that roll off his palms bring him some sense of awareness, clearing his mind like the clouds in the sky part to show off the bright full moon. the detective looks up; to his side, ouma does the same, and when saihara turns to look, both the moonlight and the firelight seem to merge together and fight on his skin. like the sun and moon, yin and yang, hot and cold... saihara can't help but stare.

and then ouma slowly tilts his head to look back at him. 

for a moment, it almost feels as if they're staring at each other, enraptured... then ouma lifts an eyebrow, and it hits saihara: he's still expecting an answer to his question.

"uh..." saihara pulls back, forcefully tugged out of his reverie. where had that even come from? he rubs a hand on the back of his neck, feeling the hairs standing up. "yeah. i think. thanks for telling me." he tries to nod, but stops halfway. there was no doubt about it, ouma had definitely answered his question on how they ended up in such a position... he should be satisfied, but saihara feels his heart lurching. was that not the answer he was looking for? his brain seems to hurt; what other question should he even ask?

then it dawns on him.

"wait, ouma-kun."

"mhm. what's up?"

"there's something else i need to ask."

"heh," saihara gasps softly. did ouma just... chuckle? he's heard the leader laugh before, hysterically, almost terrifyingly... how was this any different? "i could tell from the tone of your voice." ouma turns to look at him fully, shrugging his shoulders. "hit me."

"you..." saihara takes a breath in. but the air seems to be caught halfway down his throat. his chest tightens. when did it become so hard to speak? "you told me _how_ we ended up cuddling... but, i still don't understand _why_."

ouma tilts his head, a finger to his chin. "because you were cold?" 

"did i tell you that?"

"...not exactly. but what other reason could there be?"

"that's what i'm trying to figure out. no offense, but... i don't understand why i had to do that with you. i could have very much just gone to my tent to sleep, or gone for a walk with the others... i'm not big on affection either," he cups his own elbows. "so i don't get why i had to cuddle you of all things." within his clothes, he feels his heart stutter and pick up again. his palms turn clammy, and his face feels red... too red to only be from the fire fanning his cheeks. it's all too much for his senses, so he buries his face in his hands again, racking his brain for answers.

there has to be answer somewhere. the one thing that connects all the clues. he knows it has to be somewhere, maybe even right in front of him!

"i don't know either," ouma's voice starts slowly. "you never really told me anything. it was kinda hilarious, to be honest. you just crept close to me and held up your arms all shy-like and i just..." he chuckles again. the second time tonight! "it seems like something only you would know, huh?"

"i would! if i wasn't so stupid and forgot it!" 

"hey," ouma pats his shoulder. "you're not stupid just because you can't figure out one thing. you're still the really intelligent saihara-chan i know, and that is not a lie." 

saihara groans into his hands. 

"okay, okay, you're really serious about figuring this out, aren't you? but think about it this way: does there have to be a reason?"

"what?" saihara finally looks up. there's this streak of starlight that passes through ouma's eyes, a silver film, making him look thoughtful. like all the things he feels right now, the leader's question makes no sense to him. "of course there is. there's a reason for everything."

"maybe... but is it really your job to have to find that reason?" ouma smiles softly. 

"ouma-kun?" saihara reaches out for the leader, but ouma is faster. he catches the detective's hand in his. saihara realizes then, how soft his hands are compared to the calluses on ouma's palm. he has all the time in the world to study them when the leader links their fingers together, pressing tightly to close the already non-existent distance between them, and sets their hands down to their sides.

"sometimes you do things unexpectedly, without meaning to," ouma says quietly, as if imparting to saihara a secret of the universe. his head is bowed softly, like he was reading the right words to say from his own heart. saihara has never wanted anything more than to ask the leader to _please look at me_ , but the words are caught in his throat when his heart skips a beat unexpectedly. all he can do is stare down at the crown of ouma's head and silently plead through his eyes, but as if they shared minds, ouma lifts his head to look up at the detective.

for once, saihara is overwhelmed by what he sees. vulnerability, painted across ouma's face, like a young kid who just made a wish up to the stars for the first time. his smile is lopsided, one end tugged downwards by... anxiety? worry? nervousness? for what? the apples of his cheeks are round, a dark shade of the flowers that only bloom at midnight. "sure, there are usually reasons all of us do certain things, but why do we need to find them?" 

a feeling overwhelms saihara. this _new_ , strange sensation that urges him to tug the boy in front of him into his arms and never let go. but when he feels it in his chest, he realizes that perhaps it's not so new after all. it's familiar. like something he's felt before, not too long ago. something that maybe he's felt all his life, that's always been there, and he just never noticed. is it because of ouma's eyes? his smile? is he just cold? delusional? delirious from lack of sleep?

_...why does he need a reason?_

"why can't we just let things happen because they do? or be things because we are?"

ouma cups his face.

quite literally, his eyes are all saihara can see.

"who knows... maybe sometimes you do things just because they feel right."

and quite possibly, it is the best gift anyone could give saihara shuichi — to be looked at with nothing short of adoration, in his last moments... 

...before ouma pulls him in gently yet firmly all at the same time. the only indication that time still goes on when saihara thought it might as well have stopped is the strong gust of wind that blows their hair upwards into the sky (and maybe even their bodies, with how light-headed saihara feels). the trees sway in their place. notes of bird song carry themselves through the sky from a distance away. a low, rumbling noise howls and wails, lighting goosebumps on saihara's skin, but ouma holds him in place while they kiss. laughter spills between them like melted marshmallows and chocolate, the remnants of which sit on their tongues. they exchange short breaths that only make it out into the world for a split second before they're swallowed up by the night sky. 

if anyone in the surrounding tents snuck out to watch, neither of them would know.

it's a long while before saihara processes the fact they have to pull away. ouma is still looking up at him with that look in his eyes, and for a second the detective still wonders if everything is a dream. if the two of them were still trapped within the thirteenth hour where nothing is real. but no, this is all terribly real. this is not a dream. the pain in his chest is all too real to be a fantasy.

eventually, ouma gives in and buries his face into saihara's chest.

"but if you're really so desperate for a reason... i just did that because i liked you."

"what?"

"oh, and letting you hug me? that was all because i liked you too," he smiles cheekily.

"then all that you just said... about not all things needing to have a reason to happen... that was just a lie?" saihara blanked, blinking incredulously.

"what? of course not! silly shumai," ouma swats at the detective's chest. "of course i wasn't lying. everything i said is still true. it just so happens that... well, i guess there _was_ a reason i did what i did." he reached up to poke saihara's red nose. "so don't go forgetting what i just told you, okay?"

saihara stares down at the smiling thing in his arms, takes a look at the darkness around them, and slowly but surely, he nods and wordlessly pulls ouma closer, getting lost in a tangle of limbs once again.

a feeling of contentment washes over him at that moment.

ouma— _kokichi_ is right.

perhaps saihara never needed a reason. maybe sometimes he just needs to let things be the way they are.

but it's also in that moment that saihara finds the reason he's been looking for.

and he was right, it really was right in front of him all along.

ouma kokichi's reason is that he likes saihara shuichi.

and luckily for him, saihara shuichi really, _really_ likes him too...

**Author's Note:**

> ˚ . . ⊹  
> . ✧ . * . ˚  
>  ⊹ · * .   
> * . ✦ . ˚  
>  ˚ * ·  
>  ⋆ . *  
> ˚ * · .
> 
> so in summary: nothing happens they're gay  
> also it's so late at night as i'm posting this. finally. i get sleep.


End file.
